One of the hallmark characteristics of exceptional copers is the
capacity to go numb when stressed and keep on going. Because they have so much to do and feel it’s important to accomplish every little thing, many great copers become easily frustrated, irritable and sometimes hostile and cynical.
For some, relationship problems are caused by insensitivity to the
people around them. Self-absorption and focusing on your own worries can result in feeling so anxious and burdened that you don’t notice others or their needs.
Think of it this way: If you’re driving a car 30 miles per hour, you’re
likely to be reasonably courteous to your passenger. You might ask, “Are you comfortable? Want to listen to the radio?” But if you are driving 120 miles per hour, you won’t care if your passengers are comfortable. You need to keep your eyes and mind on what you’re doing.
If you manage your life as a perpetual road race, there will be an inevitable toll on your relationship.
If you are frequently exhausted, you’ll be too tired to pay attention to
each other.
If you are controlling when you interact with others, they will stop
revealing themselves, fearing unwanted invasion.
If you are a perfectionist, your criticism will alienate others.
If you’re excessively competitive, others will avoid you for fear of being
put down.
If you are impatient, others will feel anxious when around you.
If you repeatedly express irritation and hostility, others will
undoubtedly feel wounded, not nurtured by you.
If you habitually do or think more than one thing at once, others will feel that you never fully attend to them.
